Starting Anew
by Ila9182
Summary: Andy Flynn felt like a perfect idiot. Sitting at his desk in the Murder Room, he couldn't help but think about the incident that had occurred a few hours before... A 1x03 "Medical Causes" between-the scenes one-shot, Flynn-centric.


**Hi everyone! I'm a newbie in the Major Crimes fandom (yeah, I know I'm very late, I feel so bad I didn't find out about this wonderful show sooner). I've just made a comeback into the fanfiction world after a long, very long hiatus with this one-shot in English, and that's a new thing to me since English isn't my mother tongue and I used to write in Italian and French.**

 **So here it is: a 1x03 "Medical Causes" between-the scenes one-shot that came to my mind after watching the episode and the brilliant scene where Andy faces Sharon after losing Rusty at the bus station. Mary's acting is just flawless and it inspired me to write this piece.**

 **I just have a personal request: NO SPOILERS since I'm still watching season 5 (and so far, I loved every bit of it). Thank you, I appreciate that.**

 **Special thanks to my Beta, eelise187 who patiently proofread my work and made possible for me to publish this story!**

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 **STARTING ANEW**

Andy Flynn felt like a perfect idiot. Sitting at his desk in the Murder Room, he couldn't help but think about the incident that had occurred a few hours before. He sighed and looked up to see his partner, Provenza, sitting at his desk too, working on one of his many crossword puzzles, mumbling unintelligible words while scratching his chin with the pen. He seemed to have felt his partner's gaze because he stopped writing and looked up, annoyed.

"Stop looking at me with that lost puppy face. It's your fault we're still here tonight."

"I know that, and I've already told you to go home. I can stay here alone."

"I wish you could. I'm your immediate supervisor and I'm responsible of you, you idiot."

Flynn rolled his eyes and covered his face with his hands before sighing and saying,

"I swear, I turned my back one second and he was gone. I just…"

"Yeah, you got fooled just like a rookie. Congrats you genius."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Flynn answered back, getting up from his chair, irritated. "I already feel like an idiot, I don't need you to rub salt in the wound, okay?"

"The kid better be fine, Flynn…" Provenza said sternly before going back to his crossword puzzles.

Flynn sighed and rubbed his eyes before taking a few steps around the Murder Room, lost in his thoughts. He stopped in front of Sharon Raydor's office, looking at his reflection in the glass. His mind immediately went back to less than an hour before when he faced her after losing Rusty at the bus station, and he couldn't help but think about how awful she must be feeling in this exact moment. He could remember every detail of their conversation and though they couldn't define themselves as friends – he and the Captain clashed on several occasions and man, that woman was a real pain in the ass with her insane commitment to the rules – he felt bad for causing her pain. She had trusted him with the delicate "Rusty's mom" situation and he had failed miserably.

 _"Lieutenant, anything?" Captain Raydor asked as she quickly walked toward him with a faint, but hopeful smile. In that half smile he could see the hope and he was having the hardest time looking at her and telling her that no, he hadn't found Rusty. She had stood frozen, waiting for him to say something, that slight chance of good news preventing her from a breakdown._

 _After a moment, he found the courage to look at her and say, "Yeah, we have multiple units searching the streets around the bus station. Sheriff's department in West Hollywood has got his picture and everyone we can spare is out looking for him."_

 _He could see that with every word, she was slowly losing control of her professional exterior, her fears and worries prevailing. She looked away, closing her eyes and when she faced him again, he could see moisture beginning to collect in the corners of her eyes._

 _Oh God, please. Don't let her cry on me, he thought._

 _"Okay." She paused. "Okay."_

 _He knew she was more trying to convince herself that everything was going to be okay than answering him. That "okay" was something she said to herself, to keep her composure and to stay strong. Seeing her like that, he felt even worse._

 _He had to say something. "Captain, look, I'm sorry... I turned my back for one second, and he was gone."_

 _Andy Flynn wasn't used to apologizing, especially to the woman in front of him. He lost his temper with her, he confronted her even when he was wrong, he made fun of her by drawing that stupid portrait of a witch, but he had never apologized to her for being a total jerk in the last three years. The situation was different back then, she was FID and the whole team saw her as an enemy, he had disrespected her several times and he should never have done that. Now she was his boss and he had been trying his best to be a good Lieutenant, or at least not a jerk. That is until today when he totally screwed up things by letting Rusty run away. Rusty the key witness in a murder trial who had been living with the Captain. He had screwed up not only professionally, but he hurt her personally too because he knew the kid was important to her, more than she let it seem._

 _Andy Flynn felt the urge to apologize. In the Murder Room. In front of the whole team who was watching them interact, expecting maybe some big shocking reaction._

 _"I…" she tried to interrupt him._

 _"If I thought for one minute that he would run away…"_

 _"Lieutenant, it's not your fault. We'll keep looking."_

 _This time she succeeded in interrupting him, talking quickly as if she felt she had only a few seconds left to say those words and then to run away before breaking down. Turning around, she faked a smile in an attempt to show everyone that she was fine. Then, she faced him again, offering him the same smile she displayed to the whole team a few seconds before, only briefer as she immediately turned again towards the team before saying, "Good night, everyone."_

 _Flynn couldn't help but wince sadly as he saw her turn and slowly walk away. He felt bad, he could feel her suffering and this was totally new to him. That side of her was totally new to him. It was the first time he had seen her so vulnerable and to be honest, a few months ago, he would never have thought that this woman had a heart. She had been nothing but a strong, stubborn and cold bitch. She always got what she wanted and she knew how to do it. She would even blackmail Chief Johnson, threaten the whole Major Crimes team… hell, he had been there when the woman fired a beanbag gun at a suspect, hitting him in the face. He remembered that day as if it was yesterday: he had been truly impressed back then by her shooting skills… Now she was nothing like that woman he had imagined her to be and it destabilized him._

 _Suddenly he saw her stop in her tracks. She took a few steps back toward the team before saying, "Great work…" she looked at Flynn when pronouncing these words as if it was her way of saying to him that he had done a good job nonetheless. "All around." She added watching the others. "Everyone…really great work."_

 _He heard her voice break on the word "everyone" and he knew she was having a hard time controlling her feelings. She was about to lose it but she wouldn't have done it in front of everyone. This time she turned her back and started walking away, using the last fragment of self-control to keep her head high. Flynn rolled his eyes. He wished he could travel back in time and not repeat this mistake. He should have been more careful. The Captain was about to leave but she didn't expect someone to stop her, even less Provenza._

 _"Captain."_

 _She stopped and this time she didn't even try to hide the pain in her voice. "Yes?"_

 _"I, uh Flynn and I will stay here tonight till the kid turns up."_

 _Flynn moved slowly forward and she looked at him before turning her attention to Provenza. He could see how she nervously clasped her hands while Provenza was talking and how she had a hard time swallowing. It was only a matter of seconds before she was unable to say a single word due to the lump in her throat._

 _"And he will. He'll turn up."_

 _Her eyes spoke for her. Flynn could read the pain and the fear in them and the moisture was now obvious. If she stayed even one second more, she would break down. He felt the need to reach out for her. A simple contact, a hand on her arm, some reassuring words. Something to make her understand that she wasn't in this alone, but he didn't move. He bit his tongue and didn't say anything. She offered Provenza a faint smile before joining her hands together and mouthing a quick "thank you". No words came out from her mouth as it was now evident how deeply affected she was. She quickly left the room._

"Captain."

Provenza's voice brought Flynn back to reality. He was still standing in front of the Captain's office and he turned around to look at Provenza who was on the phone.

"Is everything alright?" Provenza asked.

Flynn could feel a lump in his throat and he closed his eyes for what seemed to him like an eternity when he finally heard, "Oh he's home. I'm glad to hear it."

Flynn let out a sigh of relief and he slowly went back to his desk. He could finally go home and forget about this crazy day.

"Well goodnight then Captain. I'll see you tomorrow."

Provenza hung up and looked at Flynn before saying, "You heard it, the kid is home. So the Captain won't kill you tonight. We're done here, we can go home." Provenza picked up his things and was about to leave when he turned to his partner, "Try hard not to screw up again tomorrow. Good night Flynn."

Flynn rolled his eyes and smirked. He picked up his things and looked at his phone on the desk. He looked around to check that Provenza had left and dialed her number. She answered almost immediately.

"Lieutenant Flynn, I've just called Lieutenant Provenza to inform both of you that Rusty is home. I hope he told you…"

"Oh yes, yes, he told me."

"Perfect then."

He felt like she was about to hang up so he said hesitantly, "Listen Captain… I know I've already said it, but I'm really sorry for what happened, I should have been more careful, I shouldn't…"

"You don't have to apologize, Lieutenant." She cut him short. "There's nothing you could possibly have done to prevent it… I talked to Rusty and he's sorry for the trouble he caused and for running away from you…"

"Nevertheless, I am the one to be sorry and I hope I can find a way to show you you can trust me."

"Don't worry about it, Lieutenant. Just the fact that you're actually calling to apologize again shows how much progress you've done… and for me it's enough."

"Thank you, Captain." He answered truthfully.

"I will see you tomorrow then." She paused. "Oh, I forgot! If you could just tell Lieutenant Provenza that…"

"I'm sorry." He interrupted her. "He already went home. As soon as he got your call, he practically ran out of the Murder Room… not before throwing one of his death glares at me."

He heard her laugh on the other side and he was glad to hear that she was already feeling better. Well, she must have been euphoric because of Rusty being safe to actually laugh at one of his ironic comments. There was a pause of comfortable silence between them before she said, "I'll call him then… Go home and get some rest, Lieutenant, it's been a busy day for all of us."

"Will do. Goodnight Captain."

"Goodnight Lieutenant and thank you."

Andy Flynn hung up and put his phone in the pocket of his blazer. He smirked and left the building too. _Maybe it wasn't that difficult being friendly with Captain Raydor_ , he thought. _Maybe today was the day they started anew_.

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 **Please R &R: let me know what you think about it. I'd appreciate it very much. Thank you! :)**


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